


Two men out of time

by Bellkat



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, Stucky - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9650273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellkat/pseuds/Bellkat
Summary: “I thought you of all people would be different. You were supposed to understand.”The busy city night life bustled far below, without a care for the two men out of time. A cold gust of wind swept across the rooftop where they stood. It carried with it the last remaining leaves of fall. The air nipped at exposed skin like ice. The billboard across the street changed ads, and there was a wash of blue that illuminated their faces.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty time for even more angst. will i ever write anything else? probably not.   
> this fic was prompted by my friend who is in stuck hell with my other friend

“I thought you of all people would be different. You were supposed to understand.”

"Buck, I-” Steve began. He reached out a hand.

Bucky cut off, “Don’t.”

The busy city night life bustled far below, without a care for the two men out of time. A cold gust of wind swept across the rooftop where they stood. It carried with it the last remaining leaves of fall. The air nipped at exposed skin like ice. The billboard across the street changed ads, and there was a wash of blue that illuminated their faces.

That’s when Steve saw it all. The bags under his dear old friend’s eyes, the unkempt hair that was long overdue for a cut, the cheekbones that stuck out far more then they should’ve. His whole body slumped to one side, weighed down by that metallic arm and the memories with which it carried.

“I want to help you,” Steve said with a soft voice.

“I don’t belong here, don’t you realize?” He clenched his fists. “I shouldn’t even be here,” his voice was low, “I shouldn’t be alive.”

Steve took a step forwards, slow. He held his gaze, even if Bucky would not meet it, “Please don’t say that, Bucky.”

“You know it’s true, we both do. And, in all honesty, it would’ve worked out for the best.”

Steve sighed. It felt as though his stomach was eating away at itself, there was an aching in it that worsened as Bucky spoke.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened, it wasn’t you.” Steve said.

Bucky met his old friend’s eyes. “Except it was! That’s what you’re not getting!” He threw out his hand, as if tossing Steve’s words aside. “I-I remember all of it. I was awake for all of it. My arms, my legs, I could feel them move and I could see them kill. I felt Howard Stark gasp for help as I killed him.” Bucky took a shaky breath. “The numbing feeling after a kill, after a completed mission... Sometimes I close my eyes and it’s like I’m back in that chair, empty, complicit.”

The aches Steve felt would not stop. The world felt so far away, Bucky felt so far away, even while standing mere feet apart. He opened his mouth to comfort him, to say something, anything, but... nothing.

The wind continued to howl.

Bucky broke the silence with nothing more than a whisper, “That wasn’t even the worst part.” A deep breath, “The worst part was the lies they fed me, lies about you. They made me hate you! Do you know what it’s like to have everything yelling at you, making you hate how you feel? It’s... suffocating.” He hugged himself tightly. “The voices, they were incessant. ‘He’s not coming for you, he never will; he left you, abandoned you.’” His voice began to speed up and his hands shook as they ran across his face. “‘He hates you, he wronged you, you’re nothing to him, you’re nothing, you’re nothing, you’re nothing.’”

Steve couldn’t stand it any longer. In seconds his arms were wrapped around Bucky as Bucky had often done for him many years ago when the pain of life became too much for Steve.

When he spoke, his voice was low and soft, “You’re here, you’re something, you’re everything.”

Bucky continued to shake, his breathing was shallow, but the mumbling slowed to a stop. Steve stood there in the embrace; his whispered words of comfort continuing.

“I’m sorry I don’t understand, but I want to, if you’ll let me.” Steve spoke, “You’ve been by my side and helped me through so much, now it’s my turn to return the favour.” He pulled back and cupped Bucky’s face.

“Steve-”

“Buck, I love you, please know that, and I will always be on your side.”

Bucky closed his eyes as he savoured those words. When he opened them once more, he spoke, “I love you too.”

They leaned into each other, two lost souls, reuniting in a tender embrace. It tasted of longing, and pain; and so many words that had been left to hang in the air, that had been caught in their throats. But it also tasted of home.

The busy city night life bustled far below, without a care for the two men out of time. A cold gust of wind swept across the rooftop, but they felt only the warmth of each other. The billboard across the street changed ads, and there was a wash of pink that illuminated their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> this work is literally saved as "Shitty fanfic time leggo" if that's a testament to who i am as a writter lmao


End file.
